Over the last year, I have come to realize that "doing life" alone is not how it was intended to be done. We are relational beings, created by the King of relationships who wants us to be part of a united body that is bound together in community. There was a shift over the last twenty years to do life more in isolation, creating this false sense of independence that we could and should experience the ebb and flow of life within the confines of our own families and homes. Perhaps this was a false perception that everyone was doing okay, navigating through life behind closed doors. I highly doubt this was true!
As we look at the statistics of broken marriages, failed relationships, substance abuse and many other areas of life, it is not getting better.
Part of doing life in community is experiencing not only the joys, but the agonizing difficulties of life, the gut wrenching and blind-sided events of life that will hit everyone at one time or another. So if we have always done life in isolation or lived on our private island how do we start connecting again?
One of the first pieces in connecting is taking that initial step to walk into an unknown setting of people which you know is centred around the core beliefs that you embrace. You see the Lord calls His people together, to enjoy life to its fullest. This will also mean , perhaps for the very first time that you will become vulnerable, transparent and trusting. Will this happen in the first meeting? Probably not, but unless you take the initiative to connect you will always be flying solo and to be honest none of us wants to do life alone. That is just plain and simple - lonely!
I am an introvert and to suddenly walk into a group and participate is not my nature but I have learned over the year that it is not about what I can receive from the group but instead what I can give to the group. Time and time again, I have received more than I have given in the relational, emotional and spiritual aspects of community.
In my last post you saw my reference to the Koslwoski family and their recent home going of Hope. The community that surrounded this young family was astounding and I do believe it was because of Amy's raw transparency in her blog that drew others to her and Shawn. She laid it all at the cross, and asked others to carry her burden with her and they came in droves to answer their needs.
You see we want to have a full, rich life, which is full of relationships. Healthy, caring and supportive relationships that will walk alongside us in the brightest of days and especially in our darkest hours. So if you have been doing life alone, perhaps it is time to take the first step of seeking out a place where you can be loved, accepted and challenged.
No more flying solo- life is so much better doing it together.
Grieving is one of the hardest processes for the human mind to navigate. It is raw emotional pain that goes to the very depth of your soul. How one person grieves can be very different from another person's journey and yet we will all have to grieve someone in our lives. We are created to be emotional and relational beings and so to suppress those feelings is neither healthy or realistic. The tears will come, the anger, the sadness, the numbness and so many more emotions will bubble up and burst through our physical shell to be released. It is all good and healthy.
Today I am grieving, not anyone in my family but the passing of a wee baby. A baby who at 13 months of age had endured more surgeries, medications, pain etc than most adults. Her name is Hope, a baby that touches lives in over 65 countries, and over a million views of her mommy's blog captured the hearts of so many.
Hope was born missing half of her heart and her life expectancy was not known. Her life was lived out in hospital beds with her mommy and daddy always by her side. It wasn't a normal way of living for a 13mth old, but the life she had been given. Her life and half a heart touched literally thousands of hearts around the globe. You see this baby had never spoken, but her life was a true expression of a deep faith exhibited by her family. She was a Kingdom shaper and therefore impacted many to take next steps in knowing the Creator that brought her into this world.
The fact that she is now in the arms of her Creator with a WHOLE heart, no medications and completely healed is wonderful but the hurt is still the same for those that love her. Releasing her into heaven doesn't ease the pain, it just takes it to a different place knowing that she is not physically hurting anymore, but instead the pain is left behind for those who love to touch her and hold her. We know that the Lord can carry the family and ease the sting of death and help them to release her fully to him. Her presence will never be forgotten, her big blue eyes will always be in my heart. Hope touched our lives in so many ways and so did her parents and extended family. It was a complete privilege to be invited into this family to share their journey through prayer and relationships. Yes it hurts, it cuts deep to the core but it is also so wonderful to know that we will see her again. The next time I see Hope she will be running around heaven, happy and enjoying life. So I will give heartfelt thanks for the wee heart that stole a piece of mine over the last 13 mths. Forever remembered, and forever loved. Until we meet ....
I am a Life Coach living in Canada. I enjoy helping people create an awareness of their strengths, their dreams and possibilties.